"Okay so if he was dying, would you forgive him? If there were 30 days left?"
I said no, and we ended our session.
I went home and was upset at my answer. I felt as if I should forgive him and guilty that I did not.
I was upset at his happiness.
How could this man treat me the way he did and still end up with everything he wanted?
Left me with a speaker system and some trauma that affected my memory and reception to emotional intimacy. And as I wanted to heal, I realized I had to imagine my own scenario.
If I were dying, and the world was ending. Yes, I'd forgive you. In that case, you could be my friend till the end of the world.
The situation I made up had more bearing in reality than I originally thought. Because our world is changing, and every day we're nearing an end. But that's just part of the journey. I think life may be too short to prevent yourself from healing.
Find a way to forgive, Find a way to show up.
Regardless of the circumstance, it is good for us.
When we hold a grudge, the only one we harm is ourselves.