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From a Distance

Dysphoria.


Mine tells lies because it is insecure in the form it’s been given.

But it needs to be nurtured and cared for, or else it will turn me round in its cuffs, and hold me hostage.


How do I love you from a safe distance? How do I check in with you to make sure you are nourished so that we can flourish together?


The first time it lied, “She wouldn’t love you anymore”

I went inward.

I hid.

Buried.


And when I realized the lie affected my actions, it could be too late for love to be rebuilt.

We cried because we didn’t know what was happening but that we felt alone.


How do I love you from a distance?

Help me understand.


I must turn this into a strength. Turn the wall it has built into a doorway.


I present the truth, that you could find me waiting for you to return,

So that I can explain. Introduce you to my oldest friend.

Dysphoria.


How do I love you from a distance?


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